On My Mind: What’s on the Table

Towards the end of her life, my mother-in-law, Dorothy, was unable to cook for Thanksgiving. We still traveled to her house for the holiday, but I had to do all the cooking. I like to cook, so this wasn’t a problem. The problem was Dorothy had a list of dishes she wanted prepared and I didn’t always know how to make them. For example, she loved green bean hot dish, but I
couldn’t use Durkee fried onions on top; I had to use frozen, breaded onion rings. Dorothy also wanted sweet pickles on the relish tray even though no one else liked sweet pickles. She liked homemade pie, but pie crust is one thing I never mastered. And then there were the yams with marshmallows…even Dorothy didn’t like the taste, but she always insisted we make them. Yes, Dorothy had a specific list of foods she wanted on the table or else it wasn’t a traditional Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving dinner is the one meal about which everyone seems to have an opinion.

I suspect our Thanksgiving food preferences are mostly shaped by childhood memories and traditions. If you always had a deep fried turkey, then that is what you crave. Or if your mother thought canned cranberry sauce was a fantastic invention, then only that purple, quaking cylinder will do. And if your grandmother
always brought a box of Andes Mints for each grandchild at Thanksgiving, then Andes Mints are part of a
traditional meal.

That last one is mine. Every Thanksgiving, my grandmother Ruby would give each grandchild a box of Andes Mints. We thought they were so exotic and delicious that my sister and I usually ate them all before the
turkey was carved. As an adult, I realized that Andes Mints are not high end chocolate. My children say they taste chalky and dry, and they won’t eat them. But oh, how I crave Andes Mints at Thanksgiving! Yes, they may be tasteless and waxy; yes, nobody else will eat them; but I still want them because they remind me of my grandmother and bring back fond memories of the good old days!

After 30 years in ministry, I have come to believe churches can fall into the same pattern, holding on to
traditions or practices long after the meaning (and the flavor) is lost. We do what we’ve always done because it reminds us of long-lost loved ones and brings back memories of days gone by, even though the younger
generation doesn’t really like what we’re putting on the table. 

Don’t get me wrong: not every church tradition is a box of Andes Mints. Some of them are green bean hot dish with fancy onion rings on top – which turns out to be pretty darn tasty. The key is to share what is
important to you, listen to what is meaningful to others, and be willing to adjust. That’s how family traditions change. That’s how churches grow.

I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving!

-Rev. Dr. Shawnthea Monroe