On My Mind:
One of the last columns Erma Bombeck wrote before she died at the age of 69 was entitled “If I had my life to live over…” A friend had asked her that question and Bombeck had first said no, she would not change a thing. But later, she had another answer. She wrote:
If I had my life to live over again I would have dusted less and listened more…I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded…I would have eaten less cottage cheese and more ice cream.
Bombeck’s words remind me of a dear friend in Ohio who was asked on her 90th birthday if she had any sage advice to share. She said, “Life is short. Use the good china.”
Dust less. Listen more. Use the good china.
I’m thinking about these things because I lost a close friend in July. Hans was a set designer, a sailor, a
carpenter, and a chef. Most of all, he was the kind of person who brought joy to everything he did. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2014, and told he might live a couple of years. Hans surprised everyone by living for nine years.
When Hans entered hospice, his wife called me and asked if I could visit. How could I possibly go? I was very busy, and there were many pressing engagements, things I was supposed to do, programs I was supposed to plan. But I heard a voice in my head say, “Go.” So I dropped everything and drove to Cleveland. What a
blessing it was! We talked about cooking, and his last trip to Maine. We talked about his family, his wife and his 16-year-old son. We talked about his faith, his memorial service, and what the next life might be like. I asked if he had any words of advice he would offer to people. Hans said, “Life is wonderful - if you pay
attention.” He died three days later at the age of 62.
Dust less. Listen more. Use the good china. Pay attention.
The lesson I learned this summer is that life really is short. If I am lucky enough to live a long life, I will suffer the loss of many dear friends and family members. The very idea breaks my heart. But rather than ignore such morbid thoughts, maybe I need to pay attention. Maybe I need to set my phone down and be fully
present to the people I am with. Maybe I should show how much I care by inviting people over and using the good china. Maybe I should take the time to listen deeply – not just to what others are saying, but to what Jesus is saying through them. Maybe I need to drop everything to see a friend one last time because loving others and being loved by them is as close as I’m going to get to God in this life.
Dust less. Listen more. Use the good china. Pay attention. And do not waste a chance to love.
Blessings!
Rev. Dr. Shawnthea Monroe